Thursday, May 31, 2007

Back Again

Due to the recently increased blog entries, it's safe to say that...


for now


Things at work has started to stable down a little. No more rushed implementations of system and hurried renovations done.

Yes. Although I'm in HR, but bascially we are in charge of eveything.


From the cleaner to the maintenance to the security guards to the PLANTS in the foyer to the designing of the guard house to colour schemes to furniture. Add these all to the already loaded full spectrum of HR.

You have no idea how happy I am to actually be able to blog.

So... ...


And just to give you a little update on What's-Been-Happening-In-Gni's-Life-Ever-Since-She-MIA'ed...

... as if anyone cares, but I'm just going to blog about it... just cuz it's MY blog...

On to the most shocking event, I was at work feeling mildly frustrated and grumpy while doing a dangerous thing at the same time... and...

... I sliced a huge chunk of my finger out with the penknife.

... i know... poor me...

Nobody was in the HR dept at that time, so I was stunned for 3 secs... staring at the piece of sliced meat lying on the table while my finger started to ooze... no... SQUIRT... blood out.

Then I calmly went to the 1st-Aid kit and did a sloppy bandage treatment on my own finger.

... eh... what you expect? Nobel prize for Bandaging, is it. I was only using ONE good hand to wrap the traumatized hand with the disemboweled finger, ok.

After that, I sat at my desk... watching the blood soak through the gauze... thinking of the next best thing to do...

*takes my Sony Ericsson K800i & snaps a picture*


OHHH... you thought I would call someone for help and go to see the doctor?

Yeah... that's the 2nd next best thing I did.

So my finger was in bandage for a whole week.

On the 7th day of work injury, I took the bandage out and...

... whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... the shape of my finger is actually dented in...


The other thing that made me feel the compulsion to blog about it will be...

This mother cockroach trying to squeeze the hard-shelled baby egg out of her pussy...


So gross...

But I still grit my teeth and took the pictures of the birth...

... ahhh.. the sacrifices I have to make... ... all for the sake of classic entertainment...

And so she huffed...

... and she puffed....

And she tried her best to sqqqquuuuuuuuuuueeezzeeeeeee the little motherfucker out...

Then... she gasped her last breath of air.

And died.


Let's all say a little prayer for the deceased...

"Dearly beloved,
we gather here today... ... to witness the death of a mother.
Trying so hard to bring new life into this world.
She was a damn ugly bitch.
But no doubt, someone who tried very hard for her young... ... (not that she had a choice). Indeed, she went thru a lot of pain & suffering.
The unwanted pregnancy was probably due to:
(1) She was probably raped.
(2) Probably one horny slut who sleep around with all the sexually-charged alpha roaches.
But look what happens to 9 seconds of fun time can do to you.
Probably 9 days of suffering with possible death.
But let us all pray for her...
May she have a better life in another lifetime."



Ok that's it.

Posting up these birth pictures makes me wanna shit.


That's all folks.

Till next time.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Hermits & Activity Friends

I recall this conversation I had with a friend.

He is kinda like a hermit. Like me.

ok... maybe he's a little worse than me.

We were talking about how he can go see his gf 365 days a year. But there are some ppl who would rather only see their partners like... once a week.

So I asked him how he can see his gf every single day and not get sick of her.

And you know what his answer was?

"... becuz I have not much friends..."


Ok. That was him joking. Kind of.

But I know the real reason is that if you really love someone, you will not get tired of seeing the same person everyday. I mean, think of it this way... ... once you are married, you'll be seeing the same person practically EVERY SINGLE DAY. And if you can get sick of this person, then there is something very wrong.

So ppl say that a couple has to have their own time with their own friends. Yes, I don't deny this. But can't possibly you see your friends 6 days a week, then only see your gf once a week, right?!?!?! If this is the case, then... SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT EQUATION, MAN!!!

Yes yes. Balance is the key word.

But then the problem is this...

What if your partner has 1001 friends, but you only have like... 3 friends?

How do you split your time?

Since we can't possibly request (or beg) our partners to give up their 1001 friends (even though you know you really wish for them to all disappear), the only solution is... for us to have more activity friends.

When our partners are not around, we need to have friends to hang out with. To play with. To have fun with. Basically, to have activities with.

But then again, where the hell does one find activity friends?

You have your best friend. But he probably already has his own life.

Your close friend. But he's always busy + he has HIS own friends.

Even those friends whom you went to school together before, but they have THEIR own lives.

Question: So, where do you find activity friends?

Answer: Friendster.

Every few days, I log on to my friendster and I receive a few messages from people whom I do not know.

People looking for people for companionship.

People searching for people to spend weekends with.

People asking people to chat on MSN.

But being the closet hermit that I am, I am just uninterested in these kind of activities.

I just want to spend time with people whom I feel close to. Not strangers... ... unless they're really good-looking.

However, I do need a chauffeur.

So if there is anyone out there who would gladly drive me around, that'll be really great.

BAD Dream

I typed this blog entry out a couple of weeks back, but I never got about to post it up.

Then a friend left a comment in one of my blogs, saying that his exams are nearing and that he thinks he might be going bald.

And suddenly, I was like... *DING*. I recalled this post.

So now, here is the long overdue post.



BAD dream.

I dreamt that I was somewhere.

With some people.

It's funny how you can never remember certain things in your dreams.

Then for SOME reason, I discovered that there was a bald spot on my scalp.



So I traced the bald patch.

And it went AROUND my head... ... like I was wearing a crown.

And then I panic. I went to the mirrror to see what it was.

And it was just... ....


Ultimate Undeniable Baldness.

I checked the rest of my head.

And it seems like the SUPER bald area was AROUND the head. And the ALMOST bald area was on the top of my head... ... like... ... very sparse growth of hair remains.


*freaks out*

Then I did a very brave thing.

I actually shaved my whole head. And then I wore a cap.

You can bet that the minute I woke up from this BAD bad dream, I checked my hair.

Am I really balding???



I still have hair.

That's great.

But but but... WHAT IF IT'S A SIGN?!?!?!?!?!

Maybe it's a way of my body telling me that... ... perhaps... ... could it be... ... THAT I'M REALLY GOING TO GO BALD?!?!?!?!?!

(O_O) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <-- extremely traumatised face


*echo echo echo echo*


For reassurance sake, I asked my mummy... my daddy... my brother... and my sister. But they all said that I am not balding... ... ... ... but but but... ... ... I know they're just saying it to make me feel better!

I'm so stressed! And I know that by being stressed out, it's going to increase the chances of me going bald! But I can't help it!

Ok, Gni.

Deep slow breathes.


The worst thing that can ever happen to anyone is to lose your hair.

*whimpers in tiny voice*... mummy...

Anywayz, I even went to this Dream Moods Dictionary website to help interpret my bad balding dream. And it says:

"To dream that you are going bald, suggests a lack of self-esteem or worries about getting older. Alternatively, baldness symbolizes humility, purity, and personal sacrifice. You are at a stage in your life where you are confident in fully exposing yourself."


Holy Mother of all Nature...

Forget the "... baldness symbolizes humility, purity, and personal sacrifice. You are at a stage in your life where you are confident in fully exposing yourself..." part.

Look at "... suggests a lack of self-esteem or worries about getting older..."!

(O_O") <---- The face of disbelief, with 2 drops of cold sweat...

I know a number of people who are going to laugh at the GETTING OLDER part.


Dun you shake your heads, you know who you are.

I hate to admit it, but... ... it's mainly the self-esteem issues that I have. Due to certain occuring circumstances in my life right now, I can't help but doubt myself in a certain way.

Maybe I'm not going to lose my hair physically, but perhaps I'm losing myself in other ways.


I have fallen into the dark side.

And the only way of getting out of it is to suffer an indescribable pain for a period of only-god-knows-how-long time. But you know me. I will not go down without a fight. Even if it's a battle that I can never win.

But at least I need to know that I tried.



That's about it.

May the force be with us.

a Funny Conversation
True Friends

I am determined not to blog about sad stuff in this blog.

And therefore, I have created a secret blog somewhere out there in cyber space which will dictate my deepest darkest feelings.

But I ain't telling you the address.

That's why it's SECRET, you know.

But once in a while, I'll still mentioned something here and there. Just cuz I'm such an exhibitionist.


Went out with a friend yesterday.

He was so funny.

He was promoting some incredibly fishy tonic drink.


Then this is how part of the conversation went:

Friend: It's good to drink that tonic water. After drinking it, there will be a lot of 'fell-gam' in the throat.

Me: ... ... ... ... 'Fell-gam'?

Friend: Yeah.

Me: ... ... ... ... you mean PHLEGM, is it??????

Friend: *says in very chopped-&-guaranteed tone*... NO. It's 'Fell-gam'.

Me: ... ... *thinks hard*... ... what 'fell-gam'?? It's phlegm lah.

Friend: *gives a sibey hao lian face*... No no. There are 2 kinds. One is *starts spelling* F-L-E-M. And another one is P-H-L... ... *hesitant pause as he saw me giving him a (-_-) look*

Me: That's PHLEGM lah! What 'fell-gam'?!?!?! It's spelt as P-H-L-E-G-M and pronounced as 'FLEM' lah! What 2 kinds. Totally the same thing, man!

*friend is embarrassed*

*me gloats at his embarrassment*


I know it may not seem funny to you. But at that point in time, it was the funniest thing to us.

Sometimes, I tell you. When you're feeling down, you always need to have silly friends to cheer you up and keep your spirits high.

And the funny thing about my friends... ... they are hardly around when you're cheerful.

But when you feel like the world is ending... and your chest is crushing your organs... and you feel like you're going blind from too much crying... and your brain is thumping painfully in your skull... and your will to live is diminishing, these true friends will always magically appear to walk beside me till the worst is over.

You think I'm being dramatic, right?

But only those who have been thru what I have gone thru, will understand this fully.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Unsolved Baby-Blues Mystery

Some ppl are just too plain weird.

Why get married and plan for kids... when after the birth of the child, you refuse to touch your wife???????

Why these ppl can feel awkward undressing in front of their spouses? I mean... for god's sake, you two HAVE HAD SEX, right???? Don't tell me you make love with clothes on??? Or with blindfolds???

hmmmm... actually with blindfolds are not a bad idea. Kinky, in fact.



A section of a weird conversation:

Me: So does your wife have stretch marks after birth?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: What do you mean you don't know. You mean you HAVEN'T seen her body after she gave birth???

Friend: See for what?

Me: *superbly stunned*... you mean even since your 3-mth old son was born you HAVEN'T seen your wife nekkid????

Friend: No.

Me: Can't be wat. Even when you two change together, you never see her body meh?

Friend: No. When I change clothes, I go to the toilet and I close the door. And if she's changing, I step out of the room.

Me: FOR WHAT??? Not as if she never see you nekkid before wat!

Friend: But I don't want her to misunderstand anything.

Me: Misunderstand wat????? That you're actually not a man ah??? Or is it... ... ... YOU CANNOT FUNCTION ANYMORE???

Friend: NO LAH!!! Just don't want her to misunderstand that I am trying to arouse her.

Me: Oh my god... ("as if you're very sexy like that"... but of course I don't say it out loud)...

Friend: Really. I am not mentally prepared yet.

Me: You're not mentally prepared to do what? To have sex with your WIFE?

Friend: Ya.


I pressed on to find out the actual reason, but he just simply refused to tell me.

Seriously, I don't understand what's going on. Maybe he really cannot Mari-Kitah anymore, but he is too shy to tell me. But then again, he's only 34... ... ... hmmm... premature softness in the manhood?

But in the event that he really don't want to see his wife nekkid after she gave birth... then... WHAT THE F(*tut*) IS GOING ON???

Is it really that traumatising for a couple once a baby is born???

In this case, then FOR F(*tut*) YOU PLAN FOR A CHILD?!?!?!?! It's like... giving birth to a child and it ruins your whole life / sex life / marriage life / etc etc.

People just have a knack for torturing each other and themselves.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Some People

I really don't understand.

And I don't know why I cannot accept.

I don't understand why some people have to do shameless things.

And I don't understand why some people will go along with these shameless things.

Also, I don't get why some people can say that they do not love one person, but yet, can get so frustrated when others mention about that person.

How can some people be so stingy to those who care for them, but yet they can be so generous to people who have betrayed them?

Why can't some people admit that they still worry for a useless person instead of pretending that they no longer care for that person?

Why can't some people let go of the past and the people behind?

Why can't some people have a fresh start instead of carrying all the old baggages with them?

Why can't some people just disappear from the face of this earth?


Tell me why.

I really don't understand.

But then again,

Life is unfair.
Just kill yourself or get over it.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

24 days

24 days to accomplish scared mission.

One of my close friends is getting married.

But that's not the sacred mission.

I have to find something white to wear as a bridesmaid.



And the worse part is that I never have time to go shopping for one.

Ok. Maybe the reason is cuz I don't like shopping and therefore, have been procrastinating for about 5 months now.

But now, I'm left with 24 days and I STILL HAVE NOT DONE ANY SHOPPING!!!

I desperately need something nice & white & soon. Very soon.

That's it.

I'm going to have to go to Orchard this weekend. Or the next. Or maybe the next next.


I hate shopping.

Monday, May 07, 2007

A Little Less Grouchy

I woke up grouchy this morning.

My back is aching like crazy. Why must I be born with a S-spine.

Stupid mummy should enlarge my exit tunnel before I actually exited from her kiup-kiup 27 years ago (if you don't know what kiup-kiup is, dun expect me to explain it to you).

Due to the exit tunnel being too tight & my little baby bones being too soft, my spine was CRUSHED and BENT OUT OF SHAPE on my way out.

ok ok... i'm exaggerating...

So my spine is curved. But it's not too obvious, if I don't bring any attention to it (like now). But then again, an observent person will be able to notice that one side of my body is not equal to the other side. BUT then again, which person will have equal both sides. BUT not as unequal as mine! But... ... ... ok forget it. I'm grumpy. I shall not argue with myself.


I got up at 6.20am for work. Showered & brushed my teeth. And my damn shoulder hurts so bad. I walked to the mrt station to wait for the company bus transport.

Sat in my usual seat and tried to dozed off as usual (the damn journey takes 1 hour, ok).

A phone call came while I was on my journey to the west.

It's bloody 7.21am!!! Who the hell would call?! And to think I was about to doze off.



A guy then said that he was Li Ching or Lecher or something like that. Then he started breathing heavily. And I was like &^%$#@ ... and I hung up on him.

Then ND sms'ed me at 7.39am and the message read,

"Watch Best of Get Real at 2032hrs on Channel News Asia. It's about bunny farm."


=D !!!

I love bunnies.

See my Twinkle Lambabo here.

However, at 7.39am in the morning, I was still grouchy & suffering from the morning-blur syndrome. Then at 8am when I arrived at work (and feeling more awake), I looked at the sms again & a few questions went thru my mind. Such as:

... exactly what channel is Channel News Asia on?

... and was ND the one who prank-call me earlier on with the heavy breathing?!?!

... btw, why is the program at 2032 hours???

Therefore, I had decided to ask daddy on the first question once I get home from work.

And I sms'ed ND to ask him about the prank-call he made earlier on. But he denied.

Then I went about doing my morning pick-me-ups necessities before I get started on my first day at work.

hey... monday blues, ok.

Regarding the 3rd question, I pondered for awhile, but decided to email ND this:

"it was so nice receiving your sms early this morning! but why is the bunny farm program at 2032 hours????????"

Within minutes, he emailed back:

"2030 - bunny humping, having a good time
2031 - shower and dress up
2032 - LIVE ON AIR"


And THAT was what made my day a little less grouchy.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Selective Helpfulness

Some lady from the office upstairs has locked herself out. In her moment of folly, she didn't take her office keys with her when she stepped out to attend to some contractors.

Blame who?

Blame her.

And sorry if I'm not sympathetic to her plight, but I was rather busy this morning. More importantly, I don't like helping strangers. Especially those whom I know will never appreciate my kindness.

Ok, so I admit that she did piss me off once before. And I'm not only reluctant, but also irritated by her carelessness.

I have NEVER EVER locked myself out of any place before (but this doesn't include the time when mummy locked me out of the house cuz I came home way past the curfew).


This woman. She practically bugged me for the spare key in my cabinet for a whole hour. I gave her the one to her office and she came back and told me that it's not the one. Then she insisted on trying out EVERY single key in the cabinet (which is like... 50 of them).

The worse thing is that after she's done with them, she doesn't even have the BLOODY INITIATIVE TO PUT THOSE KEYS BACK INTO THE CABINET!!!! This woman just dumped those keys back to me and... ... ... WHAT?!?! YOU EXPECT ME TO REARRANGE THOSE KEYS BACK FOR YOU AH, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!??!?!?!?!?!?!

YOU SIAO, IS IT?!?!?!??!?!?!!



Therefore, due to my I-have-had-it-with-idiots-taking-advantage-of-my-kindness-ENOUGH-IS-ENOUGH attitude, I told her straight in her stupid ugly face to go put the keys back into the cabinet herself.

As she RELUCTANT walked towards the cabinet, I reminded her to arrange the keys according to the number labelled on them.

*sticks out tongue at her behind her back*

*feels childish*

*sinks into a mini self-depreciating moment*

oh well...

*flashes the tallest finger at her*


... angry...

Victory is mine.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Dawn Yang

I did some investigative work today.

I've been hearing too much about this Dawn Yang person, but took a damn bloody long time to go about researching on her... or him... or it.

Just kidding. Dawn Yang is a she.

I hope.

Anyway, rumor has it that she was this ordinary-looking girl who went thru massive plastic surgery to look like how she looks like today.

I went to google her and came across these pictures of her from the past and she was like... *ergh*.

Sorry, I am not going to post her incriminating fugly pictures on my blog becuz it would mean that I am mean. And I'm actually nice. Really. I am.


Then I went to her blog with current pictures of her and she was like... *whoa*.

Yup. She's damn hot.

But still, there is this family photo of her in her blog. And no matter how I see it (left, right, up, down), I don't see any resemblance between her & the rest. Her family looks so typical chinese... and she looks like a freakin Pan-Asian chio bu.

So unfair lah. Unless... ... her mom had an affair with an ang moh & her dad was too dumb to notice.

But still, heck the plastic surgery rumors.

If any girl can look that good with plastic surgery, then I say, "HOORAHHHH (which means 'alright! go for it!')".

Who doesn't want big doll-like eyes or cute pouty lips. Who doesn't wish for firm round creamy mounds of boobs. Who would reject a nose that will give dimensions to a pancake face.

WHO?!?!? YOU TELL ME!!! WHO?!?!?!

If I had the choice, I would go sign up for the Extreme Makeover.

But alas, I am neither rich nor American.

As for Dawn Yang, well... ... she never did ADMIT to having surgery done to her face & body. So, let's just say that MAYBE she did have some work done.

But look at where she is now, man.

She's famous. She's gorgeous. She's sexy. And most importantly, she's making money. In fact, sooner or later, she's going to earn all that surgery fees back with the amount of projects she is taking up.

Therefore, cosmetic surgery is good.

All the unfortunate imperfect people should try to make themselves look & feel better about themselves.

But like a wise man once said, "With great powers, come great responsibilities".

Becuz once an ugly duckling starts looking deliciously hot, that duckling will abuse its powers for personal gains. And that duckling will lose itself in the limelight & bask in all the attention. Soon, it will only see itself and causing hurt to others. Never staying faithful... becuz why stay with one person, when you can have many others? Why be concerned with others, when you only love yourself?

Wise man.

I heard he got stabbed by a robber.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Post Labor Day Blues

I demand to have longer / more holidays.

I spent the whole of Labor Day in bed. I woke up around 11am and ate an early lunch. Then around 2pm, I went to take a nap till around 6pm. And then I woke up to eat dinner. Watched the cartoon - Open Season - on DVD. Went back to bed around 10:30pm.

And then the next morning, I had to wake up at 6am to get to work. But I was feeling so laaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyy. So I laid down in bed to laze till I can laze no more, but I still felt like NOT moving. Don't feel like going to work. Don't want to get up. The weather is so cool... ... so comfy to bury myself underneath the blanket.

Therefore, I decided to take urgent leave for the day, yet I worry that my boss will feel that I'm just another lazy employee (which I am, I don't deny). But heck lah! I'm feeling too lazy to go to work. So, I called my boss. And she approved my leave! YAY! So darn happy.

And then the alarm clock rang.

And I woke up.

Wat the $@&* !!!!! All that was only a DREAM!!!




So here I am, slogging my life away at work.

No, I did not go ahead and apply for urgent leave.

I might be lazy. But I have the determination & the strength to see me thru another day at work. Slavery is wrong, but it still exists. And all for a little piece of bread & butter.

The next up-and-coming holiday is at the end of the month.

31 May. Vesak Day.

I can't wait.

The next 2 months will be bad for me.

June & July.

Not a single holiday for the working world.

But you'll see school children running around during these 2 months cuz school is closed. Damn them. Part of me just want to go back to school to enjoy those months of term break, but I like earning my own $$$. Why? CUZ I GET TO SPEND IT ANYWAY I LIKE IT.

For some reason, I'm going to be super-ultra bored for the next 2 weeks.

But I guess I'll just stay home and watch DVDs all day & all night.