Saturday, March 17, 2007

OTO e-relax






Say HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to my new favourite toy.


I almost got the OSIM Upapa.

The OSIM Upapa




... but then my parents told me about the OTO e-relax and I went to test it out...



OMG SO SHIOK!!!

... ok ok... I know it so crude to say 'shiok', but that's the only word that can describe the ultimate massage pleasure...







I can sit on OTO e-relax all day and all night.



The best part of all is that it is portable too!





I have been having neck, back & shoulder pains for a nong nong time (courtesy of a Singapore Idol contestent) due to fatigue and stress at work. In fact, I protest that desk-bound jobs even exist in this society. But being born without a silver spoon (hell, make it a platinium spoon with class 1 blood diamonds decorating around it), I am unable to make a difference by issuing a ban on office jobs.



I'm telling you, it's almost impossible to stay healthy and maintain the correct posture in that 8 - 9 hours in front of the computer.





But fear no more...



... for here I introduce...



THE OTO E-RELAX





HEREEEEE I COMEEEE TO SAVE THE DAYYYYYY!!!



If my memory doesn't fail me, I think I paid $298 for this.


The original price is about $368... ... I THINK.


I can never remember ANYTHING.







But anywayz...





Those illuminated blue rollers really hit the sweet spots.


*inward sigh*


*eyes roll up in pleasure*









Highly recommended.


But one word of caution... ... the OTO e-relax comes with a weight limit of 100kg.


If you so happen to be heavier than 100kg, then... maybe it's time to reassess your diet plan.







In the meantime, I'm gonna let those rollers do the talking.


*inward sigh*

*eyes roll up in pleasure*

Hit those sweet spots, baby.



Friday, March 16, 2007

Cleaning Up Your Act (Part II)



I can't believe Mr Mink actually blogged in his blog about my blog post.

You can read it here.

Knowing him for a rather long time, I do feel that he is QUITE a decent man. However, I always have my doubts cuz there are always girls frolicking in his comfort zone... hahahahaha..

Nevertheless, what he said makes sense.


"Of course the temptation is always there, especially when a woman throw herself at me. But I always believe that if a woman throws herself at a man, she must have thrown herself at many other men before. And just like Palliative Drug, I am terrified of diseases. I have worked too long and too hard to risk myself to an embarrasing illness."


Such wise words.


"I cannot live with the fact that people will look at me in disgust. My female friends will no longer respect me for my character. My business associates will not trust me with their work because they will feel that I have no self-control nor determination. Basically, my whole image will be tarnished and badly stained."


Damn, Mink.

I didn't know you were actually matured.

hahahahaha...



We used to be so childish and playful in the past. Always joking and laughing and talking nonsense (actually we still do all these). But I guess personal experiences and time and age has made us grow up. And it's towards a better person.

Us women need more good men like you around.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Cleaning Up Your Act



Was having lunch with my male colleague.

He said that he'll be having an event this month.

I told him that I will not be going.

He asked why and I said that he stays too far.

He cursed at me.


BUT AT LEAST I'M HONEST, GODDAMMIT.


And today, like every other lunch hour on every other day, he will torment all his lunch buddies with topics like prostitution and the WONDERS of nightclubs & filthy little pubs.

I really don't understand men.



What's so nice about hookers?



I don't think they taste very good. In fact, it's like a mental trauma becuz YOU know that SHE is like some kind of public toilet - used by all... regardless of race, language or religion (omg.. sounds like our pledge).

Ok ok... it's more like... she has been used by EVERYONE and ANYONE... men who are fat, short, dirty, smelly, oily, ugly, balding, old & wrinkled, diseased (dun forget the diseased), etc etc...



But this colleague did say that he will most probably go 'vegetarian'.

Yeah... you know what that means.

No more prowling the red-light district for 'meat'.

No more visiting nightclubs to look and touch the 'meat'.



I looked at him doubtfully and asked why the sudden decision to go 'vegetarian'.

And he told me the reason (but I'm not going to blog it out here for the sake of identity privacy).



Anywayz...

I just had to ask him what are the reasons that men will go out 'hunting'.


He replied that there are 3 basic reasons:

1. The man is not getting sex and is desperate.
2. The man likes the excitement.
3. The man is feeling lonely.



What a load of crap.

This just makes me look down on men who has no diginity. And also, having no bloody respect for women.

Ok, so you argue that the women are the ones who put themselves out in the market to sell their bodies (stupid cheap diseased whores who pollute our environment and way of life). But the point is, the men do NOT have to TOUCH them.

I am so freakin pissed and disgusted at this.



If you're not getting sex and you're feeling desperate, then you should look at yourself and think why no girls want to sleep with you.

Maybe you really show that you're only desperate for sex.

Maybe you have very bad hygiene, and thus, being extremely untidy & smelly.

Maybe you are just plain ugly and you decide to cheapen yourself further by turning to the 'public toilets'. COME ON! HAVE SOME DAMN DIGINITY, ok?!?! If you know you don't look good, then you bloody hell should make it up by being a proper decent man. At least gain some respect for yourself and eventually, someone will see the good in you.

However, if you still think that paying for sex is the fastest way of getting sex and you enjoy it,then you should just kill yourself cuz you are such a failure as a human being. You should have been a goddamn animal... like a stupid stray dog, then you can fark anything with a hole.


If it's for the excitement, then something must be very wrong with you. Becuz the excitement does not come from having sex with a stranger or paying for the sex... ... the only excitement you're going to get after you have sex with the filthy little whore is the INTICIPATION on whether or not you'll get some kind of disease in the very near future... ... always worrying, "omg omg omg was she really safe?? wat if she has a dirty diesease??"

Uh huh.

Very exciting indeed.


If it's becuz you feel lonely, then please refer back to - if you're not getting any sex and you're feeling desperate.



And the worse thing is, these bloody men have girlfriends / wives.

Imagine the pain and the hurt and the humiliation that the girl will feel if she ever finds out what her man has been doing outside.

And the WORST thing that could happen is... ... passing on the disease to the innocent girlfriend / wife.

So unfair.

So inhumane.

So cruel.



It's really mental abuse and mental torture to know that women out there are selling themselves.

They are degrading the value of the rest of us women.

It's becuz of these hookers that some men will see women as some cheap object.

So infuriating.

Whenever I see these slutty women, I just feel like going up to them and slice up their flesh... make them disfigured, so that they will no longer be able to degrade themselves.






ANYWAYZ... ... ... ...

Enough of psychotic chatter for today...





If this post has made some sense, then it's time to CLEAN UP YOUR ACT.

Sure.

People make mistakes. Human beings are curious. Always implusive... always itching to try new things.

I won't say I'm a saint.

I've made my mistakes... ... some not as terrible as others, but they are still mistakes.

But at least I've cleaned up my act.
Talk is Cheap,
Life
&
The Little Weak Sperm




I promise to be a better person.

I will not touch drugs anymore.

Avoid the alcohol.

Keep away from all the unwanted attention.

No more flirting, and that applies to the harmless ones too.

No more contact with my ex-bfs / lovers / flings / gay partners / etc etc.

Promise to tell the truth and will never hide the truth.

Will never do anything to hurt the people I love.

Stay faithful.

I will do my best to promote World Peace and everlasting love.

I will not destroy a good thing once I have it.

Work harder and concentrate on my career and retire by 40.




















AHHHHHHHH... Fark it.




It's easier to TALK about doing the right thing.

DOING the right thing is much harder.


In fact, talking about doing the right things is already making me so tired.


So many temptations.

So weak in resistance.


Can you put trust in someone who only gives empty promises?

Trust is such a fragile little thing.



You have to work so hard to earn it.

But a single & simple mistake will break it.



Someone once told me,

"Trust is to be given"



I say,

"Trust is to be earned"


People who say that trust is to be given, will only take the trust for granted.


My concept is simple:-

Things that are obtained easier like money, will be treated lightly. Like they say, "Money easy come, easy go".

Things that are achieved slowly by working hard for it, will be treasure even more. Like boiling a nice bowl of hot soup... ... the more time you take to boil it, the better it will taste. And becuz you worked so hard for it, you will treasure it more.




Sometimes, a little voice inside my head is telling me to do the right thing for myself. But you know the heart is a stupid little thing... ... it will not allow you to do the proper thing until it is no longer pumping.


Hmmm... speaking of hearts no longer pumping, I really wonder... what happens to a person after death?

Could there really be another world for the dead?

Will we really be punished if we take our own lives?

Or do we just... die and <the end>?



My daddy always say that children are brought into the world to torture their parents. This is becuz the parents have to spend a lot of money on the children to nurture them into adults.

But I always disagree on this. I always tell him... that the parents only got themselves to blame for not being able to practice safe sex by using protection. In fact, the parents have the duty to take care of their children no matter what... ... becuz WHO ASK THEM TO BRING US INTO THIS WORLD?!?!


I sure did NOT ask to be brought into this world.

Living on earth is suffering.

You work so hard and you get hurt by the ones you love. There is betrayal and sickness. There is lost hope and depression.

Life isn't even a bed of roses, who the hell will ask to be born?!?!


The doctors & scientists say that the ONE sperm who manages to beat the competition and squeeze into the egg is the strongest and the fittest.

BULLSHIT!!!

It's more like SABO (ie: sabotage)!!!

I bet that one sperm is the weakest.

And all the other millions of sperms just gang up and kick the stupid little weakling into the egg. Then when the little weak sperm is in jail aka egg house, the rest of them will pop the champagne and celebrate until they die 72 hours later.

Trust me.

The clever ones will choose to DIE in the vagina rather than squeeze into the egg and be born into this world.



Therefore, those of you who are actually reading this post... ... ... do take a quiet solitary moment... ... knowing the cruel fact that you were chosen to suffer with the rest of us on this earth.

If anyone can tell me that they are honestly / truely / whole-heartedly happy with being here on this planet, please contact me and do let me know your divine secret.

Did you choose to live in complete oblivious to the pain & suffering around you? Or did you choose to accept the hurt that ppl can caused you?

We can always have the Never-Say-Die attitude. We can tell ourselves that anything that doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger.

But if you give it some serious thought... ... does it really make you stronger? Or does it just give you the experience to live through more pain in the future?


I pray to the Someone Up There (not that I'm religious or anything) to give me the strength to accept the things that I cannot change.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

10 Million




Damn those 2 lucky souls who striked Toto.

Why them?!

Whatever have they done to deserve that cold hard cash.

It's not like they're holy monks or some do-gooder superhero.



*sour grapes*



What can they do with that money anywayz.

I'm sure they wouldn't donate it to charity or help the unfortunate.

They'll keep it for themselves.

They will simple SPLURGE on their worthless selves.

And closed ones will start to fight over who gets how much.

And suddenly, they will find that they have a lot of 'friends'.



*very very sour grapes*



... ... if I had striked Toto... ...

The first thing I'll do... ... is... ...

... CONTINUE to bring myself to work.

Then I'll donate some of the money to the various children's homes & old folks' homes.

why to the children and the old foogies?

cuz these are the times where you make the 1st few steps that will determine the quality of your life... and the last few steps that you will live out your life...


And of course, I'll give a part of it to my family.

Use another part of the money to spend it on the people who have been genuinely good to me.

... goddamn I'm so nice & generous...

Invest the rest.

And be relieved that I am self-sufficient for the rest of my life.



I'm such a simple person even I can't stand myself.

I will not get a nice luxurious car.

Nor move into a big chic-looking house.

I am not going to buy material stuff like LVs and clothes and shoes.

However, I might consider getting a boob job. Heyyyyy... dun look at me like that. Every girl will think of getting a boob job sooner or later. If you have a small chest, you'll want to make it bigger. If you already have boobs, then you'll want to get a boob lift once it starts to sag sagggg sagggggggggg.

AND THEN, I might also go for that permanent hair removal treatment. Just cuz... I HATE BODY HAIR.


That's if... .... i HAD strike Toto.

But I didn't.


So DAMN THOSE 2 SUPER LUCKY PERSONS who striked Toto.



*extremely sour grapes*



Really lor...

WHY THEM
???