Monday, February 27, 2006

AH BING & GNI TALKING IN MSN


Sometimes I wonder if I'm weird or do I hang out with people who are weird.

Ah Bing & me were on MSN.

Ah Bing. In NUS dorm.

Me... at home.

I suddenly remember that I left my painkillers with Ah Bing... and I calculated that my period is going to start really really soon... and I just cannot live without my painkillers.

So, here starts the MSN conversation -

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Gni - ... you found my killers?

Bing - ... nope. No killers.

Gni - But but... remember Chinese New Year I passed them to you??

Gni - By the way, you heard abt the NYP sex video?

Bing - yeah... it has reached America too already.

Gni - Wow... more popular than Annabel Chong.

Bing - My friend said Annabel Chong is so loose until can shove his whole foot inside.

Gni - HAHAHAHHAa... at least until the knee la.

Bing - o_O ... that's longer than a baby... HAHAH

Gni - ... why? cannot be a very TALL baby meh?!

Gni - ... by the way, her name is Tammy... in case you need a name to call out to...

Bing - not my type... i prefer those who scream... she's so quiet... hahahaha...

Gni - ... wat! Maybe somebody else in the house leh?! You want the father to join in, is it...


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OK... so we know something about men... they like women to make noise in bed... ... ...

And then the topic continues on -

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Bing - He keeps humping her in the same position for like 8 minutes... Watch porn they never stay in the same position for more than 2 minutes lol

Gni - *endless laughing*

Bing - Porn is better. I learn more. Ok... I go make mushroom soup. Diarrhoea leh... haven't eaten dinner.

Gni - ... ewww... somehow the topic of sex & diarrhoea don't go well together.

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... *after mushroom soup*...

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Bing - For this video... I keep seeing ass. But I'm more of a boobs & arm person. UPPER BODY appeals to me more.

Gni - Boobs, I can understand. But ARM?!?!?!

Bing - What's wrong with arm fetishes?

Gni - ... i... dunno... ... ... ... do you have sex with armpits?

Bing - oh dear... I haven't considered that... ... yet.

Gni - ahhahahhahaa... you can try... since it's still considered to be an... UPPER BODY thing.

Bing - sounds... fun. But my dick will be in a lot of pain.

Gni - hahahhaa.. why? she shaves?

Bing - lol... any nice-smelling vaseline?

Gni - ... errr... ummm...

Bing - Vicks... lol

Gni - HAHAHAHHAHAA!!! HOT!

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*5 seconds pause*

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Gni - so where's my killers?

Bing - DAMN... it's not with me. Seriously.

Gni - but but... remember Chinese New Year? Anyway, I'm going to blog about our conversation.

Bing - ... skip the part about my lack of skin, pls...

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... and so... here I am... blogging about our very sick conversation. And yes... I deleted the part about Bing's lack of skin... hahahahhaha... sorry... you will not read about Freddy Kruger.

... you want to know who's Bing?

He's my brother.

Hey hey... I can see you going... (o_O) !!!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Life & its Prophecies


"... Must we all think like a Fish in a Bowl?"



I'm a tomboy and I admit that.

Do I like men? Yeah man... guys are great fun.. they're rough and playful and loud and obnoxious (very much like me)... and I like hanging out with them.

So, do I like girls? Hell yeah! They're soft and feminine and squeeze-able and lovable (oh god... am I lesbian?)... and I like hanging out with them too... only in a different way.

But between men & women, I honestly prefer to hang out with guys. Does this make me a flirt? Definately NOT.

When I go out with a guy, does it mean that I like him romantically? NO.

It just means that I play and talk and curse like a man... so I hang out with people who all have the SAME character.

And think about this carefully... if you are a person who like to go swimming and to the gym and do sports, who do you think you will hang out with MORE OFTEN??? Of course it will be with people who like to go swimming and gym and do sports also, right or not?

Let's say you like to sit at Coffee Bean and chit-chat, do you think you will be best friends with somebody who likes to go Devil's Bar every night??? I mean... CAN LA... but very hard to be hang out with them everyday lor. Becuz you want to sit down and relax, but your friend always want to go out and party and dance with loud music.

Therefore, it's the same thing for me. Women like to talk about make-up, hair, fashion & boys. I like to talk about violence, crude jokes, playing pranks & rock n' roll.

So how to CLICK... you tell me lah... you tell me! It's like eating strawberries dipped in oyster sauce... totally dun match.

When I behave like a barbarian, of course... NATURALLY... I will hang out with people who are barbarians too.

But seriously...

Can men and women be friends?

And I really mean... just PURELY be good friends... without evil intentions.

I have male friends who are married or already attached. So does this mean that I have to stop hanging out with them? Does this mean that I have to lose a few guy friends just because they are NOT single & available?

Honestly, I really don't know.

To me... "A mind with PURE & wholesome thoughts will lead to HEALTHY & relaxed living".

But to others, they might think that I'm trying to be a home-wreaker... and a 3rd party. I don't blame them for thinking this way. Becuz I agree that it is not common for men & women to be friends. Other people might think that it's strange... and NOT normal. And people might worry that there is something weird going on.

These people might still be living in a fish bowl... and they just cannot accept certain things. For example:

1. Having children before marriage.
2. Men & Women cannot be friends.
3. Bisexuals & Homosexuals.

And if you look carefully and think about it... ... you will realize that humans are just UNaccepting to people who are different from them.

People who have children before marriage are looked down upon becuz the PROPER thing is to marry THEN have kids.

Men & Women cannot be friends becuz people believe that evil things might happen. And that NORMALLY men should marry women... and therefore, men & women cannot be friends becuz they will have to marry or have sex or something. So yeah... people think that opposite sex should not be friends.

And I don't think I need to explain more about Bisexuals & Homosexuals... ... cuz... it is a topic about NORMAL people and so-called WEIRDOS.

Therefore, I do not need to say anything more. The point is... it is just natural for human beings to REJECT things that are not normal... and they will just condemn other people for being different.

Just like in some countries, muslims who wear tudungs are discriminated becuz they have their own beliefs.

So... I ask again... ...

Must we all think like a Fish in a Bowl?

Can we live outside the Bowl...?

Can we truely accept people & situations that are different?

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

MEN WILL THANK ME... WOMEN WILL LOVE ME...

... (Picture of da Guru)...



Me and Gina (my 17yr old sister) were just talking about men & relationships... (yes yes... I know... we're bimbos).

But men, if you want to keep your women interested... then you better listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth.

And women... ... you can thank me later.

At times, I look around at my married friends... and those who are in relationships. I feel that some of them lead very very dull lives. I mean... COME ON, man... you're MARRIED... not IMPRISONED FOR LIFE. If all married couples are dull and lifeless, then I will write to the government and ask them to BAN marriage.

And I just want to smack you on your married heads and say, "WHY MUST fun & laughter STOP?! CONTINUE TO PLAY! FLIRT! LAUGH! TALK NONSENSE!"

I know it takes 2 hands to clap... but somebody has to lift up the hand first. And I know sometimes, you've been lifting your hand up for too long.. and the other person just will not clap with you... but... dun stop trying. Becuz the minute you stop, everything will go downhill. If you're tired, rest first... then try again. Nobody said that good things will come easy.

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Talking about other stuff... ... about singles like me.

Sometimes, I ask myself... ... why am I still single at 26 and loving it? I mean, I feel carefree... and happy... and energetic! Why keep a man around to make myself so unhappy, right?

Is it becuz my expectations are too high? Or are the guys just simply boring.... wicked... unfaithful... flirtatious... cannot keep their penises to themselves?? I mean, I'm not a SAINT... I know I lose interest quickly once it gets boring... and I know I make mistakes... but...

... for God's sake... I'm only HUMAN! So stop bugging me to settle down... and stop asking me if I have a bf. What do you want me to say? I love being single! I like having my own time to do my own stuff! A man will just give me headaches... so thank you, but I'll pass. Maybe I'm just not a very settled person. Or maybe... I have not found a guy who makes me feel like settling down.

But for guys who have gfs who are just like me... then you better learn how to keep that woman interested in you.

Just get a balance in everything that you do...

Dun be too nice... you'll become boring.
Dun be too nasty... or you'll be frustrating to be with.
Dun give in too much... girls will find you predictable and take advantage.
Dun take too much... that's selfish! And you will make the other person too tired.

The bottom line is...

Be a bad boy... but a caring guy.
Be an outrageous flirt... but only to your partner.
Learn when to be jealous... and express it... and with the right amount of dosage.
And most importantly, laugh and have fun!!!

Be cool... and suave... and tough. Yeahhhhhh.... go to the gym... work out... dun lose shape (that's goes got men AND women). Go swimming... get a nice brown tan... look healthy. I mean... what's wrong with going to the gym... you feel good... you look good... ... it's a win-win situation wat.... correct or not?

errr... ... wat?.... WAT?!?!?... WAT THING?!?!?

... am I really that hard to please?!

HAHAHHAHAHAHA... a bit lah.... ... but hey... everybody wants what I want. The difference is... I dare to say it.

Arrogant? Yup! Wat.... cannot meh? Beat me lah!