Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Unexpected Demise

This morning, it was announced that one of my colleagues had passed away this morning.

It is indeed shocking.

When the receptionist told me, I had to ask her repeatedly (about 5 to 6 times) before the news sunk in.

It is shocking becuz this guy hardly went on MC. He hardly even took time-off to go see doctor. He exercised regularly. He was not skinny nor fat. He was, in fact, fit and lean and slightly muscular. He had this minor heart problem, but he wasn't on any medication at all. And when the results showed that he had high cholesterol, he didn't need to take any meds and he still managed to bring his own cholesterol level down to normal.

He was playing badminton with some friends last evening when he suddenly collapsed. His friends sent him to the hospital and then he passed away.

Playing badminton to keep fit, but he died doing it.

Life is strange.

His mother, wife & son were in Australia for a holiday. So until this morning, nobody was around to claim the body.

Luckily, somebody managed to contact his brother. I guess he'll be arranging the funeral. And his family in Australia will be taking the 1st plane back to Singapore.

When I heard this news about the deceased, I instinctively tried to recollect how was our working relationship. Were we friendly to each other? Were we polite? Have I ever been rude to him? Was there any unpleasantness between us?

This is becuz I wouldn't want to feel bad about him & me having a bad working relationship just before he passed away.

Sure, we have had our differences.

But recently, it was friendly & polite between us.

So, I felt relieved.

It's like having a huge argument with your partner and then he /she stomps out of the house and gets knocked down by a car.

It's like fighting with your mother and she dies from a heart attack.

It's like screaming at your best friend that he is a big bloody jerk, and then he goes out and gets hit on the head and becomes a retard, so even if you say sorry to him, you know he doesn't understand a single word you say.

You know what I mean?

It's like... this will cause a person to feel guilty & remorseful for the rest of their lives. No amount of sorry's nor i love you's will ever make a difference anymore. There is absolutely NOTHING you can ever do nor say to make things right again. NOTHING. FOREVER AND EVER. NOTHING can make things right. EVER AGAIN. NOTHING.


Always make a conscious effort to do the RIGHT things.

Always appreciate the small little things that others do for you.

Never take things / people for granted.

Never do things that you might regret for the rest of your life.

Thursday, November 22, 2007


"After you apologize, it will still be me who is still suffering alone from your mistake.
I am the one still feeling the pain.
While you sleep soundly in bed, I cry myself to sleep.
When you are working at the computer, I am working out how to see past your mistake.
When you hang out w your friends, I am trying to get thru my sadness."

When parents divorced...

The individual adults move on with their own lives, but the children are the ones who suffer forever.

When killers end an innocent life...

Even when they get death penalty, the victim's families are the ones who suffer after the the killer's death.

When rapists strike...

Even when they get caught by the law, the victim lives in humiliation for the rest of her life.

When an affair is commited...

For one, a surge of excitment. For the other, life will always be full of resentment & doubt.

When trust is betrayed...

A moment of temptation, will need a lifetime to rebuild the trust.


Life is so unfair.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Major Life Changes

Not me.

But the receptionist!!!

Remember my post on Superwoman Award?

The receptionist has been absenting herself very often this month. And I even had half a mind to go tell her that her performance is deteriorating and that would affect her increment for this year.

But then, yesterday, she went on MC again. YES. AGAIN.

She called back to inform us on her MC (of 2 days) and then she said that the doctor has finally diagnosed that she is going thru... ... ...








Talk about major life changes.

From hereon now, this is where the road is leading to an end. Where lush green scenery will soon become a bare & barren desert.

Your body will start to dry up (specifically, the nether regions). Your skin will start to crinkle up and be all wrinkled. You start looking more and more like the wicked witch from the west (or south, since everything will move closer to the ground).


This is sad. Really sad.

Women should never have to go thru menopause. And worse of all, this process takes a couple of years before it completes its journey. It's like a prisoner who is put on death penalty... but he is to be hanged 5 yrs later. You know you're going to die, but you need to WAIT.

Then you'll have mood swings. Severe back pain. Feeling pregnant, but you're not. Losing interest in all sexual activities, and even if you want to perform, you'll need to start considering sesame oil.


Therefore, I take back everything bad I said about her in my previous post.

Suffering from menopause is already tough on her.

Even me at the age of 28 (oh my goodness, almost 30! oh shit, did i just reveal my age.), I'm already dreading the day I get it too. Hopefully, it'll be when I'm really really old. Like... just before my deathbed at 70 or 80.


I'm still slippery & wet till I'm 80.
(oh gosh, suddenly stuck me that my siblings & their friends are going to read this)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Don't Blame Me

Observations from the world around me:

I hate it when people do the wrong things. And then they blame you for not trusting them.

When you find out about what they have done and you ask them why they do it, they blame you for interrogating them like a criminal.

In the 1st place, if you don't do the wrong things, then NOBODY will doubt you. If you don't do the wrong things, then NOBODY will ask you any questions.

Why people just cannot get this simple logic in their brain. Look at your own actions first before pushing the blame to others. Or worse, throwing your temper at the innocent.

I hate it when people know that it is the wrong thing... and THEY STILL DO IT.

What is wrong with these people?!?! Super irresponsible and immature. No self-control.

Why must they know that it is wrong, and they still do it? Very fun, is it. Very shiok, is it. Or is it very exciting. Or you think that others will not find out what you have done.

But they never think that what they do, can bring hurt to others.

Selfish. Damn selfish.

Only care about the pleasures it brings to themselves, but they heck care the feelings of others.

Don't they know that once water is spilled, it can never be recovered? Once a mirror is broken, there will always be cracks? Once you get into an accident, life will never be the same for you again?

So why must do something that will forever damage another thing?

People always want you to change for them. But can they put in the same hard effort to change themselves? CANNOT. They can't do it. The most, they can only be good for awhile. Then they go back into their bad habits.

No matter how many good things you do for them, they will fark care and they will NEVER EVER appreciate you. Instead, they keep telling you how much they respect this stupid bitch for encouraging them... or they cannot lose the friendship of a particular bastard for helping them. And how important this person or that person is in their lives. Ya. Don't come and tell me you respect a woman when she flirts & seduces other men. Don't try to convince people that that man is super nice when he actually cheats on his wife with prostitutes.

I only respect people with integrity and those who carry themselves properly. So dun ask me to respect people who only know how to use their mouths to TALK. I also know how to talk. Talk is so cheap and so easy. But in other aspects of their character, they are a shitload of crap.


Once the doubt & suspicion has set in your mind, can you ever bring yourself to trust that person completely? If you have been betrayed by a friend / partner, can you ever forgive them? If you cannot ever trust that person, is it your fault... or is it theirs?

Irony No. 1:

Some people are a classic case of irony.

Your ex-gf sms dirty sexy stuff to her secret lover, and you find out, and you get hurt and disgusted by it at the same time. So you decided to break up with her.

However, when you're in another relationship, you talk dirty with another woman. Thus, betraying your own gf in the same sad disgusting way. And the excuse you give is, "talk only. no other funny things. she's only a FRIEND. i'm just trying to make her (personally, I think the proper word is, fucking whore) happy".

Make her HAPPY?! You mean, you rather make a FEMALE FRIEND happy and break the trust in your own relationship??? Who would believe that lame excuse??

Sure you need to make her happy. Make her happy so that she will put your dick in her mouth, is it? Sweet talk her, so that she will spread her legs for you, is it?

Why? Why do this kind of hurtful things to others... when you yourself have that kind of bad experiences before? Are these people sick or what????

Irony No. 2:

And then there are people who have been constantly cheating on their bf / gf.

While the bf is away at work, the gf chats online and meets online male friends. And she dresses up and get all excited about meeting these good-looking hunky men. Then just before her bf gets off work, she rushes home and pretends that she has been home all these while.

When the bf accuses her of cheating and frolicking around outside with other men, she turns the table around and SCOLDS the bf for not trusting her.

(hello, but you DID meet up with strange young men whom you met on the net. he has a SOLID reason for not trusting you...)

Then when the bf spot-checks her sms'es and finds some affectionate sweet talk, she flares up at him and said that they're JUST FRIENDS. And that he is wrong for spot-checking on her.

(wtf, if you got nothing to hide, then you won't mind your bf conducting spot-checks, right???which part do you not get?? You DID do something wrong! why go and yell at the poor guy?! he kenna wear lu mao (green hat) already and still must kenna fire by you...)

And when they get into a fiery augument about her infidelity, she refuses to talk to him until he apologizes for doubting her.

(WHERE IS THE JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD?! It's like asking the victim to go back to the rapist and asked to be raped somemore and this time, make it more brutal than the last.)

Irony No. 3:

There is a stupid myth about how virgins can cure AIDS.

And all the people who had rotting dicks went around raping women. And the worst part was, in order to ENSURE that the victim was a virgin, these bastards picked on babies and children. A 9-month old baby girl was raped by 6 men.

You stupid bastards! DIE ALONE! Don't cause more pain & harm to others!

You want to put your dicks in prostitutes and loose women, then that is YOUR OWN PROBLEM. Don't make your problem, our problem!

Cannot keep your penis in your pants, then get a dog. Get a cow. Or forever stick to farking those dirty prostitutes and don't infect the rest of the population.

The more these bastard rape, the more the disease spreads. And then more and more people will get AIDS. And instead of virgins curing AIDS, virgins themselves will be spread AIDS.

Seriously, you cannot even trust your own husband / wife / bf / gf. Who knows where your husband has been when he's not at home? Who knows who your gf shares food with? Or maybe something as simple as a sharing a towel, and you get crabs. Maybe your wife is a nurse and she accidentally pricked herself with an AIDS-infected needle, then she goes home to you and sits on your face / dick.


In the End:

Don't blame me for being sceptical.

Don't blame me for being suspicious.

But some humans are like the english TV series, like The 4400 or like Heroes. They are not quite normal and have something 'special'.

I can't fly or make flowers bloom. But I definately have a very strong sense when something is going wrong.

And I can't read minds. But somehow secrets and lies and betrayals always magically reveal themselves in front of me EVEN WHEN I'M NOT LOOKING.

It's true.

My ex-friend tries to cheat me to lend her money which she will never return. And I happen to find out cuz she forgot to log off her incriminating MSN and I went to use the same computer and I SAW IT and I confronted her and she apologized and I told her to fark off. Just becuz I'm rich (or used to) doesn't mean that I want to give money away.

Another ex-friend got jealous over my school results, so she pretended to have some juicy exam tips. She gave them to me, but all the tips never came out. Then during breaktime, I overheard her gloating LOUDLY to another bitch that I would fail my exams. But if that bitch is reading this blog, I want to tell you... MAN, AM I LUCKY TO HAVE ALREADY STUDIED FOR MY EXAMS AND I DIDN'T EVEN NEED YOUR FAKE TIPS. AND I FREAKING GOT A 'B'-SCORE ON THAT PAPER, BITCH. AND I GOT THE RESULT SLIP AS PROOF.

On a sadder incident, an ex-bf was having sex with another woman, and somehow, he managed to accidentally call my hp and let me hear them humping each other. And when I confronted him, (here comes the shocker)... he told me that SHE was his gf *gasp* and I was the 'mistress'. Bastard. Hope his airstewardess gf sleeps around with strangers and get AIDS or that 'cauliflower disease' (i think it's genital herpes) and then pass it on to him. And then his dick rots and falls off just in time before he could infect an innocent girl.

And there are other unfortunate incidents, but I shall not talk about them cuz it makes me feel bitter about life.

On a happier side, maybe someone is watching over me and making sure that I only hang out with the right people and those who treat me right and those who are truthful.

There was once a stupid person who was jealous of my brains & beauty. And she said to me, "no wonder you said that you only have a few friends, now I know it's becuz nobody likes you".

So my reply to her was...

"I have few friends becuz they are the only true friends.
It's not nobody likes me.
It's me who don't like them."
I believe that there are people out there who are getting betrayed left right up down, and they still don't know it yet.
This is becuz of the sad fact that they are not born to have my 4400 ability.
And I bet that if everyone knows who is actually making use of them, they would not keep many friends around them as well.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Superwoman Award

I deserve this.

My company is doing its accounts closing between 16 to 20 nov. And I have to prepare for my payroll closing + HR closing.

At work today...

the Purchasing girl is on leave till next week. Which means I have to cover her purchasing closing duties.

the Receptionist is on MC today, which means I have to cover her recep duties of answering the 1001 phonecalls, the 1001 visitors who walk in looking for company staff, the despatch duties and opening of mails from SingPost.

the GM's secretary is on MC today, which means I have to cover her secretarial duties of serving the boss.

and not forgetting, I have to do my own duties of training / compensation benefits / staff issues / administrative work / serving my HR boss / updating the staff attendances / medical claims / staff confirmation / staff disputes / accident reports / etc.


Why must the Purchasing girl choose this closing period to go on leave? But then, I cannot blame her cuz she has to go hold her wedding dinner in Indonesia. So that's alright.

But the worst part was, why must the damn Receptionist go on MC just becuz she has back pain??? I have a crooked spine and I have been having pain in my neck, back & shoulders for 7 years and EVERY SINGLE DAY, I'm living with pain and still I come to work. Plus the stupid company doctor can tell her that her back pain is caused by STRESS, so she should relax more. STRESS?!?!?! What bloody stress can a receptionist face? She answers the damn phone calls and transfers them. Wahhhh... very 'stress' lor. And while she's telling me about how stress she is, she's sitting down having her breakfast leisurely and reading the morning papers. And throughout the day, she snack on goodies and chit-chat with visitors who come in. THAT is call STRESS meh??? I want to slap her face, man. Becuz she go and fake her MC, I have to cover her duties.

Then the GM's secretary went on a 2 day MC becuz she put on her contacts wrongly. But at least this is a valid reason. Cuz her corneas have been cut.

I only go on MC if I have a fever, but these ppl? They take MC, knowing that even if they are not around, somebody else (aka me) will be able to cover their duties.

But WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GO ON LEAVE OR MC?!?!? Absolutely NOBODY is covering my work!!! Maybe only 1 or 2 small little items need to be done, like making a followup phonecall, or passing of documents. But who will calculate the OT? Who will do the payroll? Who will handle insurance & hospitalisation issues? NOBODY. So, while the rest of the happy ppl go on leave & take their MCs during the busiest period of the month, I'm the only one who cannot fall sick nor take leave during the closing period.

Even if I take leave or MC, I still have to come back and clear my own work which have piled up during my absence. This is one reason why I hardly absent myself. And this is one reason why I absolutely HATE taking leave. Becuz I know that when I come back, I will have more work to rush thru. And then when I'm sick, as long as I can get off the bed, I will come to work becuz as usual, NOBODY will help me and my work will still pile up high during my absence. So no point being absent from work.

WHY?!?!?! Why I cannot take leave between 16 to 20th of every month?! Why why why???

Who ask me to be in HR. Who ask me to be the ONLY HR person.

Blame who?

Blame me. Everything is my fault.

Why must I be so efficient (self-praising). Why must everybody think that they can depend on me (self-praising again). At home, at work, at everywhere... it's always the same story.

'gni do this'
'gni do that'
'even if I don't do it, I know gni will do it'
'just let gni do all the rubbish work that ppl don't want to do'


And I must self-praise cuz nobody ever appreciates what I do. And I always feel like I'm doing a thankless job.

Nobody comes back from their leave and says, "thank you gni for covering for me during my absence".

... instead it's, "I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! but I feel so tired after my holiday, dun feel like working now... still in holiday mood".

... or worse, "wah! You shouldn't do my work like this! Now I have to redo it according to my own preference!"

Nobody even comes back from their MC and says, "sorry for troubling you, gni... and thank you for covering for me during my MC... i understand that you yourself have a lot of work, so you are actually taking up more shitload of work on my behalf".

... instead it's, "ohhh i was so sick and i'm still feeling so sick... my flu was so bad... my fever was so high... i couldn't get off the bed... i keep eating plain food and i got so sick of eating it".

... or worse, "maybe I should take another day off cuz I'm feeling so sick, can you also help me to do this and that? I want to go and see the doctor cuz I feel so drowsy from the medication. I think I should rest more".

I know I'm feeling so bitter now cuz I feel like that whole world is against me.

Or maybe it's becuz I'm having PMS, so these bitter feelings & thoughts are swarming me.

But then again, I DESERVE TO BE BITTER!