Friday, September 22, 2006

Hate Your Parents

I guess some people really must hate their parents.

It's like... I read in the magazines of Hollywood stars who gives funny names to their kids. The latest would be Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and that Katie Holmes. Although she's goddamn freakin cute, but still... ... ... wat a silly name.

When I was in secondary school, I have a friend who has an uncle whose name is...
Chee Ja Bor (in Hokkien: Ja Bor = Female)

He definately will be the butt of all jokes.

Anyway, what actually inspired me to blog about this is cuz my friend was telling me,

"oh my god... I can't believe a guy's name can be Chiu Ping"

Me: ... that can't beat this old guy at my work place. His name is Chun Li (as in Chun Li from the Streetfighter game). I'm always trying to find different ways to pronounce his name more manly'er.

Male Friend: And I thought my name was sissy! I'm beginning to feel proud of my name - Yu Miao.

Me: ... Yu Miao is not a sissy name. It's a funny name.

Male Friend: Hey... it's not funny. It's special.

Me: hahahahhaa... right.

*short pause*

Male Friend: There must be a logical explanation for the names. Their parents must have mistook them for a girl.

Me: (-_-")

I think it's fashionable to give funny names to your children.
I believe it somehow helps them to be more memorable in people's minds.

I mean... it's like for my name - Jeanie.

So boring.

So uninteresting.


Becuz I'm skinny... ... so I'm being remembered as Skinny Jeanie.

Soon, I got sick of being known as Jeanie the Skinny.

So, I tried to distract others by spelling my own name as G'ni... ... cuz...

Firstly, it looks nicer (and cooler... hahahaa).

Secondly, I don't have to write too much (cuz I'm lazy).

Thirdly, I hate it when people spell my name wrongly... ... like... ... Jeannie / Ginny / Janie / Jeanny / Jinny / Jimmy (fark it man, that's a MAN's name).

Lastly, becuz of this spelling, people will remember me as...

The One with The Unique Name, instead of Skinny Jeanie.

I'm sick of being Skinny Jeanie.
And then, when I'm eating beans... I get called Jeanie Beanie.
And when I whine about not getting the things I want, there's Whiney Jeanie.

My ex-bf also gave me a super long nickname.

I think it's the longest nickname in the whole wide world.

Skinny Meanie Whiney Jeanie Beanie Weanie

I demand to be in the Guiness Book of Records.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Korean Dinner with Family
My Secret to Beautiful Skin

Just the other day, I decided to take my family out for a Korean dinner at Auntie Kim's, which is along Upper Thomson Road.

We drove there in John's car (hehehe)... cuz he & his wife has gone to Korea for a holiday. And he offered to let me use his car during his absence (YAYY!! 3 CHEERS FOR JOHN!). I can't wait to see those Korea pictures!!!!!!!

I hope they took plenty pictures of the cute Korean men there.

Anyway, my dad drove John's car to Auntie Kim's. He was so gentle to the Mitsubishi Lancer... hahaha..

Mummy was excited to try Korean food for the FIRST TIME in her 46 years (damn it, woman... where have you been?! Lucky you've got such a wonderful daughter like me).

Their 3 children were having a field day at the back. We took plenty of pictures... ... did a stupid sing-a-long... joked... laughed...

... and I remember having more space at the back of the car when my dad was driving the Nissan (which is scraped metal by now), whereas John's (super modified) Mitsubishi Lancer felt really crowded.

I think it's cuz we have grown.

Alvin was a chubby little geeky boy, and now he is tall & lanky with man-boobs.

Gina has evolved from a tiny little thing... into a... ... tiny thing (sorry, you're still tiny... only not so little anymore).

And I was such a skinny hairy freak, but now... ... well, I'm still skinny, but at least I'm hairless now (due to those endless waxing sessions).


Here are some pictures from the car:


Alvin says: ... confirm blur one...

*looks at pic*

DAMN. I hate it when he's right.

Ok... try again.


Gina squeaks: ... why am I always cut off?!?!

Me with bright idea: ... I KNOW! Gina, you take from this angle...


Me says: ... aiya.... too much flare... try again. Eh... Alvin was doing a sexy pout... ahhahaha... let's all do that.


Alvin still looks sexy with his pout.

I look like I'm snickering at something.

Gina just looks plain grumpy.


AHHAAHHAHA... this is cute. And fugly at the same time.

Sorry... no pictures from the Auntie Kim's Korean Restaurant... cuz we were all excited and chatty and too busy savouring the meal. But Gina was kinda agitated when she forgotten to take pictures of the... (in her own words)...

"omg it's a KOREAN spoon!!!"

And then, just when we were about to finish dinner... ... my daddy suddenly said something to me,

"The other time, your mother was asking me if you went for Botox"

My reaction: (O_O") !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn my mother sure has a weird imagination.

My reply: WHY?!?!?!... *touches face*... wat does my face look like??? Very artificial or wat???

*noticed that mummy has looked down on to her Kim Chi soup*

My persistent questioning: WHY? Why you say that?!?! I didn't do anything lor!!!

Daddy's reply: ... no ah... that time your mother was saying that you must have done something to your face. And she told me not to ask you... becuz she said that you will deny.

*short pause*

Daddy: ... which you DID deny.

*Alvin, Gina & me started to burst out laughing at this point*

Me turning to Alvin and said JOKINGLY (must emphasise): ... omg... how did she know...

Mummy: ... I knew he cannot keep secret one...

*everybody starts laughing*

Daddy: No mahhhh... since you're wondering about it, then I just ask lor. You see... now you sit beside your sister, she looks like the older one.

Me: WAH!!!! We're 10 years apart leh!!!

Alvin: HAHAHAHAHAA!! EXACTLY... it's becuz she is sitting beside Gina now. That's why she looks better.

*everyone starts looking at the puberty zits on Gina's face*

Gina: OI !!!!

Back to reality.

I think my skin isn't THAT flawless. I still get the occasional zits... and my nose has blackheads... I have oily skin, yet the skin around my cheeks can get flaky cuz it's so dry.

But I believe that it was the change in attitude (in other words - childish) that made me look younger (than Gina... hiack hiack hiack hiack... take THAT, Gina Lau).

Also, ever since I started on this new job, I had to wake up at 6 every morning. Thus, I sleep around 8 or 9pm every night. So, I actually get plenty of restful sleep.

In addition, I've been feeling like I'm on drugs these past few months...

"I'm HAPpayyyy... I'm feeling GLaddd... I got SUNshineeee... in a baggg.."


Gni says:
... you REALLY want to know my secret to beautiful skin??... ...


... I swallow.

... a big glass of water every morning.
I Love It When People Remember Me

*a tear drops down from the corner of my eye*

That's all I have to say.

An ex-workmate had called me last night.


I feel so touched.

Becuz of my job scope in my previous company, I had put in so much effort to build the bond I had with this bunch of people.

I really do miss those people cuz they were young and vibrant and everything nice.

And even after I left that workplace for almost 2 years, they still remembered me.

I'm so touched.

*hugs myself tightly*

Friday, September 15, 2006

Gong Li & her gongs

In Straits Times today, under the Life section, there was a picture of Gong Li and her twin mammoths.

HOly MAma!!!
(say 'HO' and 'MA' with a loud, but short sudden tone)

I never knew she had such well-developed mammory glands. I mean, I knew she had boobs... but I never knew she had BOOBS boobs.... ... you know what I mean?

Boy am I envious.

I can practically visualise my sister (Gina)... ... placing her face in between Gong Li's huge gongs and turning her face left & right... rubbing her face all over the breasts.

(pls don't think that I'm sick for visualising that... cuz there was once when me & Gina were talking about big boobs and she just suddenly did that action... therefore, when I see this pic of Gong Li, that image of Gina just miraculously appear in my head)

I know you don't believe that Gina actually did that for real.

Well, I swear she did. One day, I'm going to convince her to take a video of herself doing that action... and I'll post it here.


I also can't help noticing the expression on Gong Li's face.

Let's take a close-up look...


That's scary.

Here's an EVEN closer close-up.

Take special notice at the vicious'ness in her eyes.

Look at the way she smiled... if that is even considered a smile... maybe more like a snarl with pearly whites.

Wow... I can practically feel my balls shrink (if I had balls).

Or... does it show an expression of mammory superiority?

Like saying, "my boobs are HUGE! And you can't do anything about yours! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE"... ...

Yeah... I think that's what she's thinking of when she took this picture... ...


*flings arms across chest & dramatically runs into the dark corner*

It is women like her who makes me wanna love women (not the scary look part, I'm referring to the boobs).

Don't get me wrong. I love the male species.

But there's just something about those 2 globs of fatty tissue on a woman's chest... ... that makes people go crazy.

Boobs are basically just made up of fats. But what makes THOSE 2 humps of fats so different from your tummy fats... or your butt fats.... or arm fats.... or thigh fats??

A pair of boobs is like... a superhero on its own, with powers to unleash the hidden monster in our nether regions.

As I look at her pictures longer, I'm beginning to believe that if Gong Li actually went bra'less... and someone actually calls her from behind... and if she swings around abruptly... ... ... her one boob would slap against the other boob... ... and there would be a loud 'GONGGGGGG' sound.

... errr....


As we ponder on the wonders of the sound of Gongs, let's have (yet another) close-up on Gong Li's smooth creamy pillows....


I'm impressed...

*standing ovation*

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Right Words, Wrong Meanings

I have no idea why... but my group of friends are like... the most FUN & UNPREDICTABLE people to have around. We are always joking and laughing and playing and teasing... ... always inventing new & innovative ways to entertain ourselves, and thus, always having something funny to laugh about. You will never know when they are doing to do or say something that is so out of the world.

There are situations where people, sometimes, say the right things with the wrong meanings.

Situation 1

Me and my friend were at Jalan Kayu, having pratas & chicken curry.

I watched my friend struggle with the chicken wing in his mouth... and curry all over his face.

For the last 5 mins, he has been trying to separate the drumstick part and the wing part.

I watched in amazement.


He DID IT!!!


Friend: I knew that the moment I saw him, I had to break him (and yes, he gave a gender to the chicken).

Me: ... ... oh man... that sounds so damn gay...

Situation 2

Me & friend at a coffeeshop. My friend slurping enthusiastically on the tasteless salty veggie soup.

I watched in amazement.

He goes on.

I started to get bored.

He goes on.

Just when he was putting the spoon into his mouth again, I reached out and stop him... and I karate-chop the spoon onto the table.

Friend: ... aiyaaaaaa... why dun let me drink?

*picks up spoon to drink the tasteless soup again*

I laughed loudly at his persistent obsession with the disgusting soup.

Friend continues to slurp soup and points to another table: You go and sit over there...

I was shocked.

I mean... what did I do that was so wrong lor... *humph*

Before I can argue back with him,

Friend continues his sentence while slurping more soup: ... ... I want to smoke.

Then I realized that we were sitting in the non-smoking zone. And he actually pointed to the other table cuz it's the Smoker's Table.


Well, we'll be going to have more of these situations in the future.

I've already decided to blog every weird event, so that if I was to ever be down / depressed / senile, I can always read back and laugh and remember just how those good ole times were... and always will be.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

A New Fantasy Story

I was feeling down and out in my previous blog (Read it here )... and Mel decided to give me a prep talk. But the coolest thing has to be.................. Mel has created a new species for me.

As my name is Jeanie... I was always too lazy to write since young, so I always spelled my name as G'ni in short. Thus, Mel decided to name my new species... ....


Wow. My very own species.

Here is an extract from Mel's comment in my blog.

The world is suddenly better... the air is suddenly fresher... and my mind is suddenly clearer... my body suddenly stronger... my p... ... ok ok you get what I mean...

I even had a vision of what the Gnians will look like!

And thus, as I go on the search of pictures which I can use to create my fellow Gnians, I have found what I wanted.

This picture is Kayleen from America's Top Model. She's sweet and gorgeous... extremely innocent looking... with an angelic face. And (surprise surprise!!) there IS a picture of her with sunlight in her hair!!!

Holy Macaroni!

I have found my perfect Gnian!

*gets excited*...



And now I find the perfect body...

After much searching... ... I FOUND IT!!!

And with the powers of Photoshop & my creative ingenius mind combined...

We have.......








And who else better to lead The Gnians?

ME, of course!!!!!!

All hail the Queen of Gnians....


Queen must be special mah...

How can the Queen look the same as the rest of her fellow subjects?

The Queen has to STAND OUT wat, right?

And introducing...

My wise & witty advisor of The Gnians!!!

I shall bestow the name - Melvisor - to this cute chubby creature that I found in a remote cave, somewhere deep inside the enchanting Gnian Woods.

Eh... don't see him round round fat fat like that... ... that whole body is made up of brain juices, ok?!?! Such a smart little thing... that's why I made him my WISE & WITTY advisor. And how I managed to convince Melvisor to be my advisor is another story (which I don't want to elaborate on right now.. cuz I'm introducing key characters).

In every fantasy story, there has to be a witch who can foretell the future and provide spritual guidance for the mighty Queen and her fellow subjects.

As my spritual advisor, she shall be known as...
... Fortessa, The Holy Witch of Gnians.

Now, how can the Gnians survive without a brave strong warrior to protect us?

So with the sound advices from Melvisor, and the spritual foresight of Fortessa... ... ... we decided to climb the highest mountain and swim the longest ocean and cross the hottest desert and walk the longest road and brave the fiercest storm... ... ... to find a worthy leader for our warriors.

After 7 years of travelling, The Gnians have finally found him.

The strongest...


most worthy...

and also, known to be the most hot-headed...

but yet, most generous...

and most helpful creature in this fantasy world...

Ah Miao the Mighty Commander of The Gnians.

Don't be fooled by his smile.... ... ... ... he looks friendly, but his race is known as Seebay PieKia, which is hot-headed and scary when provoked.

p.s: This creature has such a big head becuz all its anger & fury has channeled all the heat and hot air into the brain, which causes it to balloon... the more hot-headed the creature, the bigger the head.

The Seebay PieKia race is infamous for its brute strength and loud booming voice that can be heard miles and miles away.

The reason why we take 7 years to find Ah Miao... is becuz he's always walking around like speedy gonzales. The only way we can track this big-headed creature is when we hear his loud booming voice cursing in human language (also known as Hokkien).

And there we have it...

The fantasy creatures of the Gnians.

:-D !!!!!