Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Alvin's Blog

If you have been reading my blog, I guess you'll know who Alvin is.

If you don't, you should be ashamed of yourself. Becuz he is none other than my sarcastically intelligent 3-years younger brother (but i insist he looks older than me by at least 5 years).

And EVERYONE should remember his face, so you don't accidentally step into his path and suffer under the wrath of his quick-witted sarcastic humor (but really there's nothing to worry about becuz he hits like a girl and scratches like a lil bitch).

You can read about him and see his pictures in my previous entries.

But becuz I know you all are too LAZY to surf my blog... ... I'll just make it easier for you.

Just click HERE to see my very 1st blog about Alvin just cuz I hate his sexy pout. Damn. I'm telling you, he pouts prettier than me.

And then there's a little bit about him HERE about Fugly Children & Psycho Killers.

A few months later, he sent me a picture of him thru MSN (i was at home, he was in NUS dorm). And holy shite, I never knew hair could defy the laws of gravity. See the amazing hair HERE .

Then I blogged about my brother not being a VIRGIN anymore. Read his experience HERE . Yup. He's a big boy now.

Following that, the weird incident he encountered in the USA. Read it HERE .

Another pic of my gnome-faced brother HERE .

Ok... there's more of him, but I'll just stop here. NO point making the arrogant little squirt happy by knowing that I'm blogging SO MUCH about him.

You can find his link on my blog. On the right hand side. Under my Fellowship of the Crap. Under LazyBug (that's him). Or if you're too lazy to search, you can just click HERE for easy access.

But I should be SO HONORED to finally know that I'm NUMBER 1 in his life.... ... in terms of weirdness. Becuz I've always pride myself as being #1 in everything.

Extracts from LazyBug's blog about ME (of course):

"will take special care to ensure that she will be the only woman in this blog with her name in CAPS WHY? THE SAME REASON SHE’S NUMBER 1!! For 1 obvious reason… She’s MY SISTER~~ or brother… I can never tell with that phantom dick she keeps talking about."

I say: ... awwwwwwww... how sweet is he to let the WHOLE WORLD KNOW about my PHANTOM DICK. But that's ok, cuz I've blogged about his Freddy Kruger and his pair of (growing) man boobs. I swear his chest is bigger than mine. THIS IS SO UNFAIR!!!

"Did I mention my elder sis JEANIE grabbed our cat by the tail and slammed it in the wall over and over and over and over JUST LIKE AN ENERGIZER BUNNY! Energizer bunny = sister…"

I say: ... I swear I don't remember any cat!!! All I remembered was a whole lot of loud, high-pitched meowing... but I thot that was just Alvin having sex!!! Ok ok... errmmm... I don't think I slammed the cat in the wall OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER. I think I just slammed it OVER and OVER (pls note the TWO over's only). That's it. I swear. NO WAIT!!! What am I talking about?! I shouldn't be admitting a crime I didn't do!!! We never had a cat!!! My brother is lying!!! If there is proof that we had a cat... ... and... ... if there is proof that I really slammed our cute orange cat (wait a minute, how would I know the cat is cute and orange if we never had a cat) into the wall, then I must plead temporary insanity. I probably blacked out and didn't know what I was doing. Or maybe I was sleepwalking and dreaming of making roti prata.

But... ... I seriously give Alvin a standing ovation.

I think he's got the blunt end of crude humor in our family.

It's like... he's sarcastically funny even when he's trying to be sweet and nice.

I pity Cat. No. Not the cute orange cat that I was accused of slamming into the wall becuz I thought I was making roti prata. Here, I am referring to my brother's gf who is called Cat.

... hmmmmmmmmmm... suddenly, I think I know why I think of roti prata whenever I see Cat... ... ... *ponders*... ... NO! I refuse to believe that I had tortured animals!!!

I wonder how does Cat take my brother's weird sense of humor. Or maybe she likes him BECAUSE he's so weird.

... I guess this is known as the unavoidable nature of women's nurturing instint.

I feel so compelled to send a cry of help.

Somebody please save my Addams family.

"Houston... we have a problem..."

YES!!! I finally got a chance to say what the astronauts say when they're in need of SOS.