Tuesday, December 05, 2006


Prior to my previous post - Possessed, I recall a conversation with a friend of mine.

And it became a metaphor concerning Trophies and Competition.

At one glance, I might seem to be competitive. But as a person gets to know the both of us better, they will soon come to realize that she and I are similar.

The only difference is that I'm outspoken about my competitiveness. And she is very much subtle.

I kinda have this sudden outbursts of energy where I want to share with the whole world about what I want to win and how I am going to win it.

For her, she doesn't talk about it with everyone. Only a selected few.

Also, I'm more of a variety kind of person. I like to collect trophies in all kinds of categories... ... like Swimming, Hockey, Aggressive Sports, Dance competitions, Essay Writings, Art, etc etc. It's like I am challenging myself to see exactly how diversed I can get.

Whereas for my friend, she prefers to be the BEST among the rest. It's like, she picks a category.... ... for example, Swimming. And she wants to know that she's better than the other person in Freestyle / Butterfly / Backstroke.

But this kind of competitiveness has to stop for me.

I am 27 years old and I should be maturing.

Not indulging in feeding that evil sin called Pride. It's time to leave Neverland and return to the real world where people of the MATURED age do MATURED things.

But but...

I really don't want to grow uppppppppppppppp!

All these added burdens. And accumulated stress. With undeniable responsibilities that I have to shoulder.

I hate to rush into things. And I hate people to rush me.

I know what I have to do. It's just that.... well, I'm taking my time and planning out my whole entire life. We're talking about another (at least) 40 years here, alright?!

... ... so, the planning is going to take a little longer.

At times, I just feel like I'm still 18.

And I'm living life as a challenge.

I have to win my trophies before I win the biggest and most gorgeous trophy that make me wanna polish it every single day.

Then maybe I'll decide to grow up.