Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Fat Bastard

I am so freakin pissed.

My blood is really boiling.

Stay calm, Gni... stay calm.

This afternoon, I bought some cakes and was sharing it with my colleagues at the reception area. As we were eating, this stupid fat indian motherfarker suddenly said,

"you remind me of SGH. your arms look like those old sick people in the hospital."

I have to admit that I was NOT expecting a rude remark like that from this guy. Becuz I took him into my clique at work. I invited him to join my clique during lunch becuz everyone else didn't want to talk to him nor eat with him. I was friendly and nice to him when everyone was ignoring him.

And a remark like this was way beyond my expectation. Especially when it is directly to me... by him. A person I, so kindly, take under my wings.

Being the person who never turns away from a fight, I said to him,

"no, I believe I look much better than that. Besides, at least I'm not the one who is going to die from obesity."

That fat indian motherfarker. To think I even offered the cakes to him.

And this rude remark came from a fat bastard who weighs almost 200kg.

This is really amazing, you know.

Does he even look at himself in the mirror???

He's grossly fat. He smells funky. His hair is severely greying. He's balding. With dandruff (probably from being so afraid of washing all his hair out that he created another problem for himself). And he's only 30. He also looks like a freakin pervert.

And all these time, I was being nice to him becuz 95% of the people in the company dislike him the first time they saw him.

Seriously, I could have said so many mean things to him. I have a lot of 'Fat' jokes that me & my friends pull out every single day of our lives.


At that point of time, I took a deep breath and I swallow back those words.

I am, after all, at work.

And I will definitely NOT portray myself as a mean, crude, spiteful person (although I can be when the need arises) in front of so many colleagues who are gathering around the reception area.

I am most certainly NOT a girl who is self-conscious nor have low self-esteem. Instead, I think very highly of myself... hahahaha...

I do KNOW that I am NOT replusively skinny.

I am skinny. Yes. I have tiny bones like a 12yr old. Yes.

But my frame has never discourage men from pursuing me. And therefore, I know I am still attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex. I know I do not have the body of a Greek goddess. However, I'm not without my charms either.

This fat indian bastard can be sure of one thing.

He has officially declared war against me. Nobody puts me down like that. In fact, even if he said this to another person, it is still downright rude. And nobody should put up with crap like that.

Lunch will never be a pleasant affair for him anymore. Sure, he can join us. But he can be sure that he will have an EXTREMELY hard time swallowing down his food. In fact, he shouldn't be eating. An apple a day will already add kilos to his overgrown waistline.


Letter to the Farker:-

Dear Fat Bastard,

Dun be jealous becuz I'm skinny & beautiful.

And the fact that I can eat practically ANYTHING I WANT, must be killing you inside. Becuz no matter how much you cut down on those calories... no matter how hard you stop yourself from reaching out for a delicious piece of chocolate cake, you will NEVER (hear me well, you fat bastard) NEVER look as good as me. NEVER. There is a reason why no girls will ever look at you. That is becuz apart from your grey balding head that is infected with crusty flakes called dandruff, you are also 200kg, sweaty and you smell really bad.

You think you're funny just becuz I laugh at your lame stupid jokes. But sorry, can't you tell that I was just being nice? Sympathetically nice. For the less privileged. Like yourself.

You want fun?

I'll give you fun.

I assure you that by the time I'm done having my fun, you'll be crying like a baby. And sadly, nobody will be there to hug you. For one, there is no one on earth who can actually wrap their arms around you. Secondly, nobody likes to get close to something that reeks like a rotten pig. Lastly (and unfortunately for you), people still believe that dandruff is contagious.

Let's see just how much you can take.

Spawn of Satan