The 2-headed Snake

10 years ago, my friend called me a 2-headed snake. Technically, it means that a person is a hypocrite. But but... I was never a hypocrite! Or rather, I try my best not to be.

But in actual fact, what he eventually meant was... that I was a person of 2 faces.

... wait... that sounds equally bad...



Let me explain.

There are always 2 sides to a person - the good, the bad & the ugly (wait a min... that's 3 sides).


And for all my friends know, I am the classic (and extreme) case of a Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde.

When I'm nice, I'm verrrrrrrrryyyyy nice.

When I'm bad, I'm verrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy bad.


Towards people who appreciate me & who spare a thought for me, I can have the utmost tolerance towards them. You can push me into a mud puddle & I'll laugh. You can wake me up at 3am in the morning, crying for help and I'll be there. Ask for a dollar & I'll give you 10.

But as for people who show me unreasonable attitude & fair-weathered behaviours, I can be extremely stingy and mean. Owe me 10 cents, and I'll take back 10 cents. Tell me to do something and I'll ask you to go fuck yourself. Ask me for help, and I'll say that you don't deserve it.


Then there are days when I wake up feeling like a million dollars + overly self-assured = arrogance.

And there are also times when I feel like a Shrek (aka downright ugly ogre).

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I remember there was one time, when we were shopping and my friend pointed to several clothings, but I was like...

"i cannot wear that. i'm too skinny."

"nahhhh. my ass will look too huge."

"I got chicken legs."

"it will show my bony shoulders."

"my boobs are too small."

Suddenly, he took out an imaginary gun and point it over my left shoulder.

*BAM BAM BAM*, he went.

I was like... (-_O) ??????

And he said to me, "I am shooting your evil head".

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There was another time when I was put in a situation where I was seriously being taken advantage of.

People kept asking for stuff and I kept giving. And they kept taking and I kept giving. And then they toss me aside like a useless rag doll, only picking me up again when they need something. And still, I kept giving.

My friend got so tired of looking at me wear myself out for unappreciative people.

And so he said, "give the good head a break. now is the time to listen to the evil one".

I paused.

And I listened to what the spawn of Satan had to say.

Then.....

I SEE THE LIGHT

It is clear to me that while I should be nice to people whom I have a responsibility to, I should still give them limits and not let them take advantage of me.

For such a long time, I've been a freakin sponge... just soaking up all the abuse.

But it is time to let the Demon come out and play.

No more Little Ms Muffet who sat on a freakin uncomfortable Tuffet, eating her stupid bland curds & whey.

Uh uh.

Little Ms Muffet is going to throw out that stupid Tuffet and thrash the bland curds & whey.

She is going to buy a kickass recliner sofa + gourmet food, and she will get those lazy & unreasonably stubborn assholes to come kiss her ass every morning & wipe it clean every night.

Becuz why?

Becuz she freakin deserves it for slogging her entire day at work and taking the shit out everyday.

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Yeah.

You better be scared.

Be verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy scared.

Jenine (the name of the evil head) will not take this lying down.

*pats the slithering head*

You want the beast?

You will HAVE the beast.