Monday, March 09, 2009


Me & bf went to watch Watchmen last Friday.

I dunno if it's becuz the both of us were too tired from work or is the movie super boring... ... but we practically fell asleep in the movie theater. And the nachos that we bought were a bit 'lao hong' (stale / not crispy / out in the open for too long). Fark Eng Wah.

First of all, judging from the poster, I thought it was going to be exciting like Superman or Spiderman or X-men... ... but the movie is totally not entertaining at all. It's like a bunch of heroes who fallen from grace and now they are just a bunch of old fogies who engage in sordid sex and meaningless violence. It's like a very scandalous un-superhero movie. I dunno... ... maybe some of you might find it very exciting. Although the movie is almost 3 hrs long & a way of making the customers' money worth it, but it is another way to imprison us in total boredom.


Mr Manhattan (the shiny blue guy with the spaced-out eyes) walks around nekkid and you can practically see his bird-bird in fantastic details. He had a human gf but he despised her for growing old, so he cheated on her with a young superhero girl called Silk Spectre (who wears tight latex & honestly dun look that young & a little bit ah-qua). What the fark lor. What an inhuman superhero. If he doesn't have super powers, his gf shd just cut off his ku ku. And when he goes to war, he can transform into this giant version of himself, but then he's suddenly in the mood to wear a groin cloth. What is the meaning of this??? You mean if he's human-size, the audience is allowed to see his bird-bird and huge droopy balls... ... but if he's King-Kong-size, then we cannot see his enlarged bird-bird, is it? What nonsense. I DEMAND TO SEE KING-KONG-SIZE KU KU BIRD!!! Anyway, if you dunno what i'm talking about, then you go & watch the movie.

Ozymandias (the filthy rich guy) looks like he's a potential faggot. And i suspect tat he & Mr Manhattan is secretly in love. This is becuz Ozymandias ruin the world and Mr Manhattan still never kill him. watever lah. even though Ozy claims that he is trying to unite the whole world, but he still made use of Mr Manhanttan to build this power machine to zap & destroy buildings and humans. and this Mr Manhanttan is still ok with it... and sort of agrees with wat Ozy is doing and lets him live (actually i didn't really get this part becuz i dozed off). wat the.... *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*!!!!!

The Comedian (the guy who keeps wearing a smiley badge) loves raping women and making them pregnant then killing them in cold blood. He kills children and shoots innocent ppl like he's playing arcade games. Oh, did I mention that Silk Spectre is actually his bastard child with Ms Jupiter who almost got raped by The Comedian during a photoshoot & then married another guy in the later years, but then cheated on her husband by sleeping with The Comedian and getting pregnant with Silk Spectre? Complicated, right? Now that I put it this way, the movie actually sounds interesting.

And then there's Nite Owl II who is balding and pudgy and has a secret lusty crush on Silk Spectre who was dating Mr Manhattan after he broke up with his aging gf. But then he eventually get to have sex with Silk when she left Mr Manhanttan becuz she found out that he was working while having sex with her at the same time. Dunno what I'm talking about, right? Then you watch the movie and you will understand.

I guess the only respectable superhero would be Rorschach (the masked man). He looks like this nerdy carrot-top guy who always gets bullied by his classmates... ... .. but he actually poured boiling hot oil onto a man and killed a midget while he was in jail. But in the end, Mr Manhattan just killed him by exploding him into pieces (which i dunno why becuz i actually fell asleep at this part)... ... hmmmm... and i thought Mr Manhattan & Rorschach were supposed to be friends. Roschach is like the only guy who gives a damn about the world and all the killings going on... .. ... but then Mr Manhattan killed him instead of that Ozy guy... ...

I can never understand this movie.

Probably too intelligent & classical for my viewing.